Expanding my horizons and enjoying some fun stuff!

It has been a while since I've updated, so here's a quick rundown:
-my ink has fully healed and I'm already planning my next two tattoos and when I'll be getting them. I'm getting two yants: the five line yant and the nine spire yant (with the additional twenty spires). Yep...I'm addicted!
-Bodycombat is fuckin amazing! My instructor has such high energy and well, I burn a ton in there. The only time I burn more is when I'm out running, so the trainer is doing something right when she leads.
-Results from my latest eval with Cash (my trainer):
Dropped 1% bodyfat, gained four pounds and my arms, quads, pecs and calves all went up while my waistline went down. New circuits this month are going to be the most challenging yet; he's pulling stuff from his own workouts now for me and well, the man is an animal, so I'm kinda wary but think it'll be awesome once I get going.
-Hit my 12k warmup distance last week, so now I'm just dropping pace to hit second seed for the race next year. After I drop pace, I'll be adding miles to work up for that marathon in July. That is a challenge I'm really looking forward to!
-Martial arts: love muay thai like mad. My ram muay is a bit choppy still, so I'm spending a decent chunk of time to polish it up and make it as good as it can be. Next up training-wise will be BJJ with a school that just opened up here. They seem like a better group than the others I've run into, but I'll find out for sure by a quick visit to feel it out.

That's pretty much it for now...just a quick check-in to keep notes on where I'm at. Things are improving and I'm getting stronger and faster. This kicks major ass!

Low carb and ink...fun times for all

Its been a while since I've updated, and not a whole ton has gone on. I absolutely loved my last set of circuits from my trainer and feel like I finally made some progress last month after the holiday season backslide.

To jump start things for my next set of circuits, I decided to do a two and a half week-long carb deprivation cycle. For those unfamiliar, this is similar to the first phase of Atkins where you intake 50 grams or less of net carbohydrates a day. How you figure out the net carbohydrates from a nutrition label is really simple, too: take the total carbohydrates in a food and subtract sugar alcohols and any fiber. That's it!

What the deprivation does to your system is quite fun, too. Your system switches into a state called ketosis where it burns fat as a primary fuel source to use ketones instead of glucose. For the first few days, it is totally normal to have a headache and feel kinda fuzzy, like you just drank a few beers.

While the diet may be higher in fat than a normal one, it is being used as the primary fuel source and the high protein prevents muscle atrophy. In short durations, it is a great start...but I end up completely lacking energy. NO Xplode and caffeine in general help a ton with that, for me at least, so I'm usually able to balance it out. Lots of meal planning and meticulous tracking of macronutrients, but it is totally worth it. I'm currently sitting at 10% bodyfat; dropping to six in the next few months.

In other news, the reason I haven't worked out at all this week: I finally got a tattoo. Things came together so I could afford it, so I figured why the hell not. So now, sitting at the top of my left pec, are two small words in old Greek that have a very deep meaning to me. It didn't really hurt until he hit bone at one point, but now the damn thing is starting to hurt a little. Eh, not too bad though...but I still don't feel like getting it covered in sweat or having a scab pop open (I think it scabbed a little but can't really tell right now) in the middle of a workout. I should pick back up next week with some more cardio to keep the burn and fat loss up, so that'll be nice.

Eyes on the prize. Don`t get friendly, I`m in disguise. Dodging bullets and taking arrows, but its all worth it in the end.

When it all falls apart...just run and find your limits...then exceed them

So, this past week has been a maelstrom in my life and its just not over yet.

The guy I was seeing ended it off, then was on a date the very next day. That fuckin hurt, to say the least, because I let myself open up and like him. I've pretty well kept myself closed off to people because if I open up like that, I end up getting hurt; I already have enough scars to last a lifetime and I don't really need more. He commented on one of my facebook posts asking if I was okay because I seemed down and out. Told him I was okay. What I meant to say was "no, I'm not fucking okay. Life is going to shit, I'm fucking hurt and I don't know what to fucking do, so instead I'll just train hard and punish myself because that's all I know how to do." I figured that wouldn't have helped anything, so I just left it and called it good.

So this week, I went on a date with a guy...and we have nothing in common. So yeah, strike out number one there. Another wants a benefits situation and while I'm attracted, I think it might be a bad idea right now, simply because I want more but I'm in that place where wounds are still fresh and I don't want to hurt anyone...the joys of dating in Spokane, eh?

To top it off, my manager is breathing down my neck and borderline harassing me and my finances are shit for another couple weeks. At least there's a light at the end of one of those tunnels...right?

So, to deal with it all, I've been training with a higher intensity than normal. I hit the gym last Sunday to blow off some steam, then ran five miles after I talked to the guy I'd been seeing. He probably never guessed he's the cause of those five miles...
I trained at work throughout the week, but upped my weights this week. It felt good breaking those limits. Thursday, I tried a cardio kickboxing-style class at my gym and loved it. I'm going back for more...throwing elbows and knees at an invisible opponent is second only to using a heavy bag. Great way to blow off more steam.
Friday, I worked out with Cash and because I was so hardcore into my circuits and finished early, we did some killer ab work that made me throw up after. Yep, second workout this week I threw up from; I'm pushing that hard. And I like it.
Ran six miles last night and another four this morning. I may end up hitting the gym later, but will probably take it a little easy on myself because there's no sense in overtraining and injuring myself.

Working out the frustration, the insecurities, the rage, the self-hate, the problems with the world...just run and push those limits. Its all you can do.

Test post from my mobile...let`s see if this shit works...

Workout fuel...

Disappointment. Pain. All the times they said you can't. All the times you feel you failed. All the problems you have with yourself, your image, your actions...all of it. All of your frustrations.

The list above has a lot of things that can be destructive...and they're all what's on my mind right now. Instead of falling back to some of my old habits, I'm using them as fuel for my running.

After he texted me and we ended off, I ran about five miles to clear my head and just get it out. All the negativity and self-doubt are fuel to make myself better now...it hurts sometimes when those wounds are ripped open, but sometimes you have to cut your losses and figure out how to put things together in a positive way.

A lot of athletes I've known have been in the same boat. To some degree, we're all trying to prove our worth to others and often to ourselves. In many ways, we're our own worst enemies, focusing on the negatives to the exclusion of the positive. There is a lot of negative, that's a given, its part of life, but then again maybe things are meant to be.

I may be down for the count, but I'm not out. Like I always do when I fall, I will pick myself back up, dust off and keep on going. I'll turn this pain into something positive and I'll be better for it. Yeah, it gets tiring having it happen as many times as it has, and sometimes I wish things were easier...but then again, nothing worth it in life is easy. Maybe finding a decent guy, like getting in shape and improving my mile splits and sparring, will take a lot of work on myself before it happens. If so, then maybe, just maybe, the work and wait will be worth it.

I feel like maybe I should end this on a positive note, so here's a shameless self-esteem boosting song. Hopefully, I find my own spark within and let it out for the world to see...

I really am my own science experiment...

So today I decided to mess around with my nutrient timing and intake to see what effect it had on my workouts.

I had a pre-workout meal at 10:00 for my 12:30 workout and it didn't make a huge difference that I noticed. Then again, my lunch workouts are pretty easy; basic weights for 30 minutes focused on specific areas (today was shoulders/arms) and 20 minutes of vinyasa yoga aimed at runners (help open up those damned hips and lengthen those damned hamstrings). The recovery meal seemed to help a bit, which was nice.

So I had a meal at about 4:30 or 4:45 for my evening workout along with a snack at 7:15, 45 minutes before that workout. The evening workouts are always killer because they're the circuits my trainer came up with, and today was no exception. Burpees w/pushup and barbell push/press, pullups with mixed grip (one hand over, other under), barbell front squats, kettlebell lifts and reverse incline crunches. Yep...gonna be feeling it in the morning, but I love it!

I tried NO Xplode a week or so ago, but got sick because I tried it on an empty stomach. I'm thinking of trying it again, along with a preworkout meal about an hour before my workout; mostly carbs with some protein. I think it'll really help make me a bit less sluggish for the workouts and might help make them a bit more intense, which is always fun.

Very frankly, it has been a hell of a week with work and some personal matters, so I welcome any distraction from it all, even if I end up hobbling around like an old man the next day because of the soreness. That last part was a joke and dripping with sarcasm in case any of you missed that.

Anyways, a couple songs that helped bring out some of what's going on inside of me so I could channel it out into my workouts (see, working out can be therapeutic):





Well, that's really all I have. Tomorrow is another lunch run on the trail and maybe a longer run in the evening if I'm up to it. If not, some heavy bag work and bodyweight martial arts type training/cardio.