When it all falls apart...just run and find your limits...then exceed them

So, this past week has been a maelstrom in my life and its just not over yet.

The guy I was seeing ended it off, then was on a date the very next day. That fuckin hurt, to say the least, because I let myself open up and like him. I've pretty well kept myself closed off to people because if I open up like that, I end up getting hurt; I already have enough scars to last a lifetime and I don't really need more. He commented on one of my facebook posts asking if I was okay because I seemed down and out. Told him I was okay. What I meant to say was "no, I'm not fucking okay. Life is going to shit, I'm fucking hurt and I don't know what to fucking do, so instead I'll just train hard and punish myself because that's all I know how to do." I figured that wouldn't have helped anything, so I just left it and called it good.

So this week, I went on a date with a guy...and we have nothing in common. So yeah, strike out number one there. Another wants a benefits situation and while I'm attracted, I think it might be a bad idea right now, simply because I want more but I'm in that place where wounds are still fresh and I don't want to hurt anyone...the joys of dating in Spokane, eh?

To top it off, my manager is breathing down my neck and borderline harassing me and my finances are shit for another couple weeks. At least there's a light at the end of one of those tunnels...right?

So, to deal with it all, I've been training with a higher intensity than normal. I hit the gym last Sunday to blow off some steam, then ran five miles after I talked to the guy I'd been seeing. He probably never guessed he's the cause of those five miles...
I trained at work throughout the week, but upped my weights this week. It felt good breaking those limits. Thursday, I tried a cardio kickboxing-style class at my gym and loved it. I'm going back for more...throwing elbows and knees at an invisible opponent is second only to using a heavy bag. Great way to blow off more steam.
Friday, I worked out with Cash and because I was so hardcore into my circuits and finished early, we did some killer ab work that made me throw up after. Yep, second workout this week I threw up from; I'm pushing that hard. And I like it.
Ran six miles last night and another four this morning. I may end up hitting the gym later, but will probably take it a little easy on myself because there's no sense in overtraining and injuring myself.

Working out the frustration, the insecurities, the rage, the self-hate, the problems with the world...just run and push those limits. Its all you can do.

I really am my own science experiment...

So today I decided to mess around with my nutrient timing and intake to see what effect it had on my workouts.

I had a pre-workout meal at 10:00 for my 12:30 workout and it didn't make a huge difference that I noticed. Then again, my lunch workouts are pretty easy; basic weights for 30 minutes focused on specific areas (today was shoulders/arms) and 20 minutes of vinyasa yoga aimed at runners (help open up those damned hips and lengthen those damned hamstrings). The recovery meal seemed to help a bit, which was nice.

So I had a meal at about 4:30 or 4:45 for my evening workout along with a snack at 7:15, 45 minutes before that workout. The evening workouts are always killer because they're the circuits my trainer came up with, and today was no exception. Burpees w/pushup and barbell push/press, pullups with mixed grip (one hand over, other under), barbell front squats, kettlebell lifts and reverse incline crunches. Yep...gonna be feeling it in the morning, but I love it!

I tried NO Xplode a week or so ago, but got sick because I tried it on an empty stomach. I'm thinking of trying it again, along with a preworkout meal about an hour before my workout; mostly carbs with some protein. I think it'll really help make me a bit less sluggish for the workouts and might help make them a bit more intense, which is always fun.

Very frankly, it has been a hell of a week with work and some personal matters, so I welcome any distraction from it all, even if I end up hobbling around like an old man the next day because of the soreness. That last part was a joke and dripping with sarcasm in case any of you missed that.

Anyways, a couple songs that helped bring out some of what's going on inside of me so I could channel it out into my workouts (see, working out can be therapeutic):





Well, that's really all I have. Tomorrow is another lunch run on the trail and maybe a longer run in the evening if I'm up to it. If not, some heavy bag work and bodyweight martial arts type training/cardio.

Coming back from the off-season sucks

This week has been hell with training to say the least, but I love it!

It all started Monday with a bit of interval work on the treadmill because of weather up here. I should note that I absolutely hate running on treadmills, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
After 20 minutes of that, my shin splints were back in full force and my ankles were kind of cranky as well. I went slow on the speed for the most part...guess my body just has to readjust.

Tuesday was weights and I have a whole new set of circuits that my trainer came up with just for me! And I'm pretty sure he wants to kill me. I woke up this morning hurting like hell in my lats, shoulders and pecs from the circuit yesterday. I love the flow and how it makes me work, but damn I haven't been this sore in a while.

Today I finally got to run outside on the trail by my office. It was really nice, even though my ankles and shins acted up again. I need to remember to bring my tape for the shins and some ibuprofen for my ankles...I only ran 3.2 miles, so nothing special but it was still a good warmup after having been exercising indoors since the end of November.
When I got home, I did some punching work on the heavy bag and about ten minutes on my foam roller to work out any tight spots before I do some yoga before bed. I'm shifting some focus over to flexibility training in my hips, shoulders and hamstrings for my martial arts.

Its really weird that my IT bands get tight from almost anything I do except running. I know a ton of runners who have IT band problems just from running...but anytime I run, mine end up with less hot spots than normal. Crazy body of mine, I guess.

Tomorrow I have a workout with my trainer, so I better prepare for the pain.

Fear and capoeira

Show no fear; vem jogar.

Inevitably, all of us will run into something in capoeira that we fear. Accordingly, we'll have to work hard and overcome whatever that fear is. For some it'll seem (or even be) easier, but I believe these moments are some of the most defining moments in training.

My biggest fear is keeping me from some of the basic acrobatics like plantadas and even an aú. My fear which holds me back is this: somewhere along the line I saw a video of a guy doing capoeira and he fell and broke his neck. Yeah...I know a few people who are paralyzed from neck breaks and I admit that I'm scared of doing that. I've never really been comfortable being upside-down either, and never really did cartwheels and such as a child. I'm learning all of this cold, for the first time, and it is a huge challenge.

I'm learning to overcome some of my fear, little by little. I'm able to get into an assisted handstand now and sometimes even hold it for ten or fifteen seconds. This is very significant to me as I've never been able to do this before, yet here I am and I'm making very visible progress every class.

For me, the only way to get over my fear is to do things over and over again, at my own pace (moving slow and steady to gain confidence in myself) and learn on my own that what I fear shouldn't hold me back. As I go on, I admittedly get very frustrated but I channel that into determination to do my best and learn these difficult things.

I've heard stories of injuries causing fear when re-learning a move or learning other moves, and I'm curious as to how some of you got over those fears. If you're comfortable, please feel free to respond and tell your story.

Axé!